The Conservative Soldier

Fixate at your peril on American Idol. There’s real news happening in this world of ours.

Item: Finally, a group of white guys catch a break.

Thanks to continued global warming hysteria, the polar bear has been designated as a “threatened” species, even though it is not, at the moment, actually threatened. There are more than 25,000 of them living the good life in the Artic. One study says the polar bear population is threatened more by hunters’ rifles than by melting sea ice, the latter being the motivation for according the big fellas code-orange status.

Item: Sen. Arlen Specter remains suspicious of Patriots.

Why does a politician from a state hammered by job loss and struggling through the current economic downturn (Pennsylvania) obsess about the extent to which a football team from Massachusetts (the New England Patriots) might have spied on its opponents’ practice sessions. Specter this week met with the guy, a former team employee, who recently turned over some of the “goods” on the Pats.

Joe McCarthy might have been a whack job, but at least he was worried about real spies.

Item: Another Tony Romo fumble?

First, the Dallas Cowboys QB made headlines in 2007 when mishandling a point-after snap that led to a playoff game loss. Last week, Romo demonstrated he can’t hold a note when belting out “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” at Chicago’s Wrigley Field.

Now, the celebrity press is abuzz that Romo is on the verge of dropping his gorgeous squeeze, Jessica Simpson. Fuuummmmmbbbbuuuulllllllll!

Item: Here’s Johnny.

Former Presidential hopeful and Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards of North Carolina endorsed Barack Obama on Wednesday.

Edwards lives on a 102-acre piece of property in a home occupying 28,000 square feet. Perhaps Obama will be invited down to the Carolina mansion to ponder what he should do about the bitter, gun-owning rednecks who live in the more modest of the two Americas about which Edwards always drones on. Heck, if Edwards had endorsed before now Obama could have used a guest “wing” to hide Jeremiah Wright for a few weeks.

Item: Teary eyed in an undisclosed location.

Vice President and Mrs. Cheney did not attend the wedding of First Daughter Jenna Bush last Saturday at the Presidential Ranch in Crawford, Texas, according to Chicago Sun-Times gossip columnist Michael Sneed.

Can you blame the Bushes for being cautious? Last time Cheney was invited for a weekend at a Texas ranch he shot a guy.